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Funny, funny, funny. It was laughter all the way. In fact the only things that weren’t funny were Suzanne Collins’s legs.

Those legs are definitely not funny.

Those are serious legs!

A Fistful of Collars is the latest comedy from the pen of Liverpool playwright Fred Lawless and it has just hit the town’s Royal Court Theatre.

And the cast did him proud with a first night performance that was… well… F.Lawless!

It is directed by the talented Bob Eaton who translated the script into a tight fast-moving comedy with the right mix of innuendo, slapstick and farce, liberally seasoned of course with the scouse humour for which the Royal Court is renowned.

Set in a failing Dry-cleaners, the three owners, played by Eithne Browne, Pauline Daniels and Lindzi Germain, set up a scam to hire out customers’ designer dresses. They need the extra cash to pay their crooked landlord (Jake Abraham).

When the landlord’s P.A. is about to walk out wearing a dress belonging to Colleen Rooney, the trio’s feckless apprentice (Lenny Wood) knocks her out with a lungful of chloroform-laden dry cleaning solvent.

How actress Suzanne Collins refrained from falling apart laughing as the tight red dress was unceremoniously removed from her “unconscious” body is beyond me – and especially so, when a large group of male members of the audience erupted with cries of: “No, leave her there” when she was being carried out of sight into the store room!

I won’t spoil the rest of the plot for you, but suffice to say it involved a bag of money, a gun, and the obligatory policeman, played by the inimitable Alan Stocks.

And whilst the Suzanne Collins character emerged from her chloroform-induced coma as her same beautiful self, things turned rather ugly when the policeman came-round believing he was special agent Bond – Brook Bond  – and took a trip in the tumble drier!

I really cannot recommend this comedy too highly. It is what the Royal Court is all about. A Fistful of Collars runs until May 15th.

Miss it – and you’ll really miss out!

This reminds me of the time I was in a record shop next to a girl holding a Beatles Album and saying to her mates “Oh my god! – I didn’t know Paul had left Wings”!

What planet is this guy on?!

(Screen grab of http://www.amazon.com/review/R28UVQ0O5MLTNL taken on April 12th)

Cauliflower Roulette is easy to play and not quite as dangerous as the “Russian” alternative.

You can play almost any day of the week at the CoOp

I’d recommend the one in Ruthin

First choose a cauliflower that has been reduced because it’s close to its sell-by date.

Then take it to the till and see how much they charge you!

Simple!

And great fun!

This example started off at £1.30, then was reduced to 95p before eventually hitting the shelves at just 20p

Guess how much we were charged!

You don’t even have to stick to cauliflowers – it works with pretty much any item that has been “reduced”

Of course the CoOp could spoil our fun by covering up the old bar codes with the new ones.  But then that wouldn’t be so much fun for us – or as profitable for the CoOp would it?!